New Year New you? As if. Smashing the Revolving Door of Comparison
The vast world of access we've been given today has created a thought pattern in people I don’t think they even realize is there. We live in the most connected age in human history, yet more people are feeling disconnected.
Every day your mind is performing a rapid, subconscious calculation with only two possible outcomes. With every new post, influencer recommendation, and reel that flashes across your screen, you do one of two things:
Relate and feel understood.
Aspire and wish you were like them.
The Cycle of Exhaustion
The algorithm knows this. Neuroscience confirms this.
See someone baking perfect sourdough? I should do that. A jet-setting business woman? I want that life. A cottage-core homestead? That’s the dream. It gets thrown on the “saved” list. We’ve become curators of a hundred different lives, rapidly cycling through doors to different versions of who we could be.
On the surface, it feels like opportunity. But in reality, you are collecting nothing. Wouldn’t that make sense that we have a lot of chatting but not a lot of doing? Job rates are down because we have been shown to dream but not shown to move.
We save the ideas, the aesthetics, the “vibes.” And before we know it, we’re a dizzying mix: a cottage-core, business-leading, chicken-keeping, ministry-running, writer, media maven who is, frankly, annoyed. Not speaking about anyone in particular… (okay, it’s me).
You’re Dizzy. So Get out of the Revolving Door.
Psychologists have a name for this: “Identity Diffusion”—a lack of a stable sense of self, where you borrow values and roles from every appealing source without integrating them.
Coupled with “Option Paralysis”—the anxiety that comes from too many choices—this cycle of Relate → Aspire → Save → Exhaust is directly fueling the skyrocketing rates of anxiety and depression. We are trying on selves like fast fashion, and in the desperate search for a “better you” or the elusive “it girl,” you lose You. The woman created for a specific purpose gets flooded with expectations that don’t even exist in the real world.
and doesn’t it make sense that the Devil would get you enamored with the revolving door of “options” thinking because you’re “moving” you’re making progress but really you’re just going in circles? anyways.
THIS IS WHY IT DOESN'T WORK
This isn’t just a psychological problem; it’s an ancient spiritual condition. The Bible calls it being “double-minded” or having a divided focus.
“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” (James 1:6-8)
Sound familiar? Blown and tossed. Unstable. That’s the “rapid door cycling” in spiritual terms. Our focus is fractured. Jesus said:
“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness…” (Matthew 6:22-23)
Our “eye”—our focus—is constantly scanning for the next thing to want or become. It fills us with the darkness of comparison and inadequacy. But He continues:
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”(Matthew 6:33)
Get Out of the Cycle and Get Moving: So, Who Are You?
The world’s relentless question is: “Who do you want to be?” It’s a question that leads to the saved list, to the exhaustion, to the performance. Really, what you need to ask yourself is: “Who has God declared me to be?”
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)
“When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”(2 Corinthians 10:12)
For years, I changed to make people like me. And some did - Many didn't! LOL But in the midst of that, I lost what God wanted me to do and who he said I was. So let me say it plainly: screw it.
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
A New Vision for the New Year
Before you step into the new year, and trying to be a better you, figure out: Who did God make you to be?
You can try everything. Attain all you desire. But if you attach your worth/value to your achievements, you will be disappointed every step of the way. Scratch earning the applause of people because they simply like that you're doing what they think you should be doing.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)
I am who He says I am. I can do what He says I can do. I will be what He says I will be. And that is good enough for me.
Secure the goals. Build a big, God-sized vision. But don’t lose yourself in the vast world of thought and “new year new me” that you miss the point entirely.